whiskey tango foxtrot

Talking to a friend recently, he told me that one of his wealthy buddies, divorced for the fourth time, was simplifying his life.

I immediately pictured a man cleaning up his act, eating lean meat and more vegetables, maybe hitting the gym a few more times a week.

“He sold his plane and his boat,” my friend confided,¬†“and he’s having sex with prostitutes.”

Before I could think of a suitable rejoinder, my friend chuckled and said, “He has a new motto in life: if it flies, floats, or f$@&#s – rent it.”

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Typically tongue-tied, I managed to grimace and flee from the conversation, but here are my witty and clever retorts, over twenty-four hours later. Which one should I have used? Can you think of something better?

a. I’m going to cross-stitch that onto a pillow.

b. Impressive alliteration. Is your friend a writer?

c. With that financial acumen, he should be selling Ponzi schemes.

d. If he buys, rents or rapes to f$@&#, ARREST him because it’s ILLEGAL.

Don’t Ever Let Them Take Your Heart

The FBI, in coordination with almost 300 local and state agencies, rescued 100+ children over the past 3 days thanks to Operation Cross Country, a nationwide initiative to help victims of human trafficking and underage prostitution.

One of the rescued women, Alexandria, talks about her experience and what she’s learned about survival and empowerment:

Operation Cross Country is a part of the Innocence Lost National Initiative, a joint program by the FBI, the Department of Justice and the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. Since 2003, the Innocence Lost National Initiative has netted the rescue of more than 2,700 children. See Huff Post for more info.